The Caregiver's Dilemma
The adult caregiver may think she's doing the "right thing," but the truth is her dilemma takes a toll on everyone-her family, her employer, her colleagues and friends. Sadly, the caregiver's sacrifices ,may not even be the best thing for the person she looks after.
Do you recognize this person?
She is probably between the ages of 46 and 65, married and working outside of the home. She has begun to show signs of heavy emotional and physical exhaustion and worries increasingly over finances. Yet she recently had to switch from a full-time job to a part-time one after passing up a promotion that she worked hard to earn and really wanted to accept.
Perhaps her depressive and anxious symptoms have disrupted her relationships with others. She largely has the chance or energy to spend quality time with important people in her life.
This person is the family caregiver, and she's just like thousands of others struggling in this country. She's providing care for an elderly parent or relative while holding down a job and perhaps looking after her immediate family unit as well (for more on the caregiver's dilemma, turn to page 19). She thinks she's doing the "right thing" but the truth of the matter is her dilemma takes a toll on everyone around her-her children, her spouse or partner, her employer, her colleagues and friends-and sadly, her sacrifices may not even be the best thing for the person she looks after.
Debunking the myths -there are options
Like the woman described above, many caregivers are unaware of or hesitant to explore alternatives. They may reason that the recipient of care, after all, is not that bad off-he or she is certainly not ready for an "old folks"'or nursing home. It's "common knowledge" that retirement communities charge exorbitant entrance fees and that would necessitate selling the loved one's home or even spending all of the care giver's savings, leaving little for the kids' college fund.
Yet just like in any other business, retirement community professionals are aware that the challenges their target market faces are even tougher in an economic climate like this. Many have developed comprehensive programs to assist families with real estate sales, financing and all the other loose ends involved when a family undertakes this important life change.
Weighing the costs and benefits
Many assisted living communities have a home-like atmosphere where a resident can furnish the apartment with his or her own furniture, pictures and memories. The monthly rental cost in many communities includes a flexible meal program, transportation, maintenance, social activities, emergency call system and taxes and some utilities.
The socialization and security aspects provided can make all the difference, actually enhancing a resident's health, life span and emotional well-being-adding life to one's years as well as years to one's life.
Dining with friends and neighbors; entertainment, educational and social functions and turning over maintenance and housekeeping chores to the community can increase a person's satisfaction with life and even slow down memory decline.
A "home" or assisted living?
If a loved one requires more assistance with activities of daily living such as bathing, medication supervision or dressing, an assisted living community can also offer help.
Benefits such as medication management, safety checks at night, assistance with showering or bathing, three nutritious meals and a full schedule of activities address the problems that made living alone difficult, and in some cases dangerous.
Yet if and when a skilled nursing facility is required, there is no substitution for that level of care. Assisted living communities cannot provide the skilled and extensive rehabilitative care that may be necessary for a loved on*but neither can the family caregiver. Health care professionals and assisted living staff members are trained to help you make this determination.
Respite or temporary care
Many independent living and assisted living communities offer respite, or temporary care. A temporary stay can be arranged for a few days or weeks, providing Mom with the support that she needs while the caregiver gets a much-needed break Or perhaps Dad needs surgery and Mom cannot be left alone during Dad's hospital and/or rehab stay.
Respite care can also be a great way to give Mom or Dad a chance to see what the community is like, without having to commit to a permanent decision.
Memory problems and dementia
According to recent statistics from the Alzheimer's Association, one person in eight age 65 and older has Alzheimer's disease and a new case is diagnosed every 70 seconds. Depending on the degree of dementia or stage of Alzheimer's disease, an assisted living community can provide a safe environment.
Activities designed specifically for the memory-challenged provide stimulation that helps mental functioning. A skill assessment can determine the best setting for someone with dementia some assisted Living communities have secured units specifically designed for a person with dementia or Alzheimer's disease.
Regardless of the level of care that a person requires, the key to the caregiver's dilemma is planning. Educate yourself on all of the options offered in your community to realize the most prudent course of action. Don't wait until a crisis occurs.
(Susan F. Eckert is president of Harmony Senior Services and senior vice president of operations for Smith/Packett. The Roanoke-based company is one of the largest senior housing and health care development companies in the country, specializing in the design, development, financing, strategic planning and operation of health care facilities. The Village on Pheasant Ridge at 4428 Pheasant Ridge Rd. in Roanoke is a Harmony Senior Services community.)